Digging Up The Past

I spent my morning digging up the past. Living in this house for nearly twenty-two years, I was bound to collect a lot of nostalgia. I looked through old boxes that were sitting in my closet. Among the stuff I found were old photos of myself and old writings from when I was a teenager. The feelings were mixed and varied. There was an immense level of sadness for my former, younger self. A slimmer, younger figure I no longer recognize or associate as being me. Who is that person who once smiled so easily? That hair, the light in her eyes. That isn’t me anymore. The whole time looking through these boxes I had that Lana Del Rey song “Young and Beautiful” stuck in my head. “Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful? Will you still love me when I’ve got nothing, but my aching soul? I know you will, I know you will, I know that you will.”

After getting over the shock of seeing the old photographs, I reveled in the sight of revisiting old poems, haikus and short stories I wrote for a creative writing class circa 1998. I loved that class. I wish that I was the person that I am now back when I was a senior in high school so that I could have learned that I was always a writer and that was my ultimate destiny. I hate that it took me so damn long to realize who I really am. I loved reading all of my old stuff and seeing how I always had a hint of darkness, of sadness in everything I wrote. But within that darkness, there was always a small sense of hope, a curtain of light fighting to get in.

ALL WRITTEN WORK AND ARTWORK ARE THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF PSG LOPES. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 2017.